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God Loves Ohio Tonight

Goodbye Mike DeWine, goodbye Bob Taft lackey Kent Blackwell, goodbye you asshole smokers, for God loves Ohio tonight.

Bright Day For Ohio Education

A testing company faces a fine after it mistakenly failed hundreds of students on Ohio's new graduation test, state education officials said Monday.

First the crackups with the latest election results, and now this?

I am so proud to be a Buckeye!

From the Depths of My Hotlist


I found this a couple days ago buried deep in my bookmarks file; from looking through backups, it seems I added this about 5 years ago.

Remember when communists were fun? Well, they were never fun, really... but that's probably because Brezhnev never had the Web. Now commies are just funny.

Fight the Power, comrades!

You Know, Not All Anime Sucks...

I'm sort of a closet anime buff, but I haven't had much time to watch it lately; being a grown-up sux0rz, like the kiddies say. I finally got some time to indulge myself over the weekend, so I dropped by the local Super-Mega-Corporate-Video-Hive-Collective - the Best Buy, other words - and bought a massive sampling of the "latest and greatest" in recent anime.

My God, recent anime sucks harder than Traci Lords!

The first thing I watched was something called "Kiddy Grade"; a lame "Alias" copy with a prepubescent sidekick intended for sexual titillation. I felt like a child molestor just watching it. Trash can for "Kiddy Grade."

Then I watched a show called "Tenjho Tenge"; it was even more sexually retarded than "Kiddy Grade," and had some lame fighting plot to it, to boot. Into the trash it went.

Then I watched a show that is isn't even available in America yet. I had to watch it unsubtitled, which isn't a problem because I'm fluent in Japanese - bet you didn't know that, huh? - and I was immediately taken aback. I'm talking about a show called "Beck."

Hot damn, this show rocks.

No, it doesn't rock... this show rawks.

"Beck" is about a young, 14-year-old kid called Koyuki who meets another kid a guitar playing older boy called Ryusuke. Ryusuke's a cool dude - he's live in America most of his life, and can speak English as well as Japanese (well, sort of) - and Koyuki is immediately smitten with him. Koyuki starts to play the guitar himself, and has dreams of one day becoming a rock star.

I just want to know one thing: how did the animators of this show know every teenage fantasy I've ever had? How did they know that I practiced guitar until my fingers bled? How did they know I spent classtime in Junior High dreaming up band names instead of studying? How did they know the story of my teen years?

OK, they didn't, but they might as well have, because "Beck" pulled me straight into my early teens. I was 14 again, wanting to play as well as Mike Keeling - the local guitar god - and having fantasies of selling out Madison Square Garden. It's an absolutely incredible show, and it proves definitively that Japan has a mastery over animation that the rest of the world simply can't match. A show like "Beck" would never be made in America, as it isn't about bulky superheroes with metal spikes in their hands or snotty 8-year-old kids with lousy attitudes.

"Beck" is some of the best anime I have ever seen. Beg, borrow, steal, I don't care what, but watch this show. "Beck" should be issued at every Superstars of Rock Music meeting along with your line of coke and personal blood transfusion machine. It's a textbook into your life. Dive right in, rock stars; you be reminded why wanted to become one in the first place.

P.S. - If you're an anime fan, and you happen to like "Kiddy Grade" or "Tenjho Tenge," keep your opinion to yourself. Both shows suck ass. They're commercials for developmentally arrested losers who can't get a date, and you know it. So no mail on it, OK? Just assume that you're always wrong, and I'm always right: your life will go a lot easier if you keep that in mind.

Hello from a Purple State.

I'd tell you who I voted for, but now in my state all Democrats are forbidden from more than 30 minutes online a day.

I guess I just did tell you, didn't I.

Isn't it wonderful wasting 7 months of your life? At least those damn gays can't get married any more (one last bit; under Issue 1, mixed-race marriages are, conceivably, illegal as well).

Gotta go; I'm late for my RFID tracking implant.

Trickle-down Economics Applied to Memes

I swear, if another 6th grader says "badger" to me...

Tastes Great?

No, it's ``Less Filling.''

And this proves it.

Windows XP "Reloaded"?

So, what, are they saying it will suck more than regular XP?

At least Redmond is being honest with themselves.

Alright, I'm a fanboy, but...

Go see this movie. Now.

And then buy it on DVD and make your soul happy.

Are You Popular?

I swear I saw this when I was in 7th grade, although I did wonder how anyone could say "weenie roast" with a straight face.


Jason Martens

Latest Month

November 2006


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